Happy Homecoming?
Before I sat down to type this out, I told myself I would wait until my sour mood died and put on a happy face for the masses. I didn't want to pound out yet another angry letter to myself. Then I thought about it, and realized that was EXACTLY what I wanted to do. It will keep me from going completely homicidal, at the very least.
After 5 days in the county's finest hotel, I was back on the street at 10:30 this morning with no ride and no way to get one. Standing on the corner of 26th and California by yourself with no money, no phone, and no escape is not a fabulous way to start the day, but I pressed on and maintained a somewhat positive attitude. Luckily it paid off, and a nice person lent me a phone. 2 hours later, I was FINALLY on my way home. Hurrah.
On my way home, I was informed that I (a) paid to fill up the refrigerator, and (b) was also still expected to shell out rent at the end of the month....You know that record scratch sound? Yeah, loud and clear for me. This was after a lengthy discussion on that very subject not 2 days before I went in. The deal was, I chuck in $50 a month for food, and drop another couple bucks at the end of the month for rent. Deal, I can do that. I should have known it was never gonna be that easy.
Let me drop some background on you before I go further. I was always the chump. Before I had my son, I split the rent with my parents on a townhouse-Notice I said "split the rent", not live there for free or paid a small portion. I paid the security deposit to get in there, plus half the rent, and supplied the house with food, all while knowing I would only be there temporarily. (My brother? Lived off of everyone scott free.) When I moved out a few months later, not only did I not get a portion of my security back, but the light bill was left in my name and ran up to hell. It took me months to unravel it later and get it back in normal standing so I could use it myself. My family has been feeding off of me for years, but my brother, who is one year younger than I am, has been one gigantic, pot smoking sponge who my mother coddles and babies and is never asked to do anything. Why?? Because I'm the "responsible one", so "more is expected" of me. Directly quoted from dear ol' mom.
I laid down the law at the family pow wow-I let it be known that I can't afford to support a family of six, it is not my job, and that I don't expect anyone to support me or mine. I handle mine, you handle yours. Ill pitch in a bit every month to help with overages, so long as little brother DOES THE SAME THING.
As soon as my back was turned, the assholes bled me dry. I was gone 5 fucking days, only to come home to half my grocery money gone, and half of my bank account wiped out. Of course, then I get the guilt bullshit.."Oh you need to help your faaaamily" The fuck I do!! It would have been one thing if I was gone for a while, I already expected my shit to be used up. Its another when they knew I was only gone for a week and did the shit behind my back, because my mother knew it wouldn't happen while I was here. I don't appreciate being played for a goddamn dummy, especially not by my own fucking flesh and blood. As far as Im concerned, my rent is paid, and nobody better ask me for a damn dime until August.
On another, quicker note, got some news about the asshole ex that I should have seen coming-long story short, I hope he gets hit by a fucking speeding bus. That is all.
After 5 days in the county's finest hotel, I was back on the street at 10:30 this morning with no ride and no way to get one. Standing on the corner of 26th and California by yourself with no money, no phone, and no escape is not a fabulous way to start the day, but I pressed on and maintained a somewhat positive attitude. Luckily it paid off, and a nice person lent me a phone. 2 hours later, I was FINALLY on my way home. Hurrah.
On my way home, I was informed that I (a) paid to fill up the refrigerator, and (b) was also still expected to shell out rent at the end of the month....You know that record scratch sound? Yeah, loud and clear for me. This was after a lengthy discussion on that very subject not 2 days before I went in. The deal was, I chuck in $50 a month for food, and drop another couple bucks at the end of the month for rent. Deal, I can do that. I should have known it was never gonna be that easy.
Let me drop some background on you before I go further. I was always the chump. Before I had my son, I split the rent with my parents on a townhouse-Notice I said "split the rent", not live there for free or paid a small portion. I paid the security deposit to get in there, plus half the rent, and supplied the house with food, all while knowing I would only be there temporarily. (My brother? Lived off of everyone scott free.) When I moved out a few months later, not only did I not get a portion of my security back, but the light bill was left in my name and ran up to hell. It took me months to unravel it later and get it back in normal standing so I could use it myself. My family has been feeding off of me for years, but my brother, who is one year younger than I am, has been one gigantic, pot smoking sponge who my mother coddles and babies and is never asked to do anything. Why?? Because I'm the "responsible one", so "more is expected" of me. Directly quoted from dear ol' mom.
I laid down the law at the family pow wow-I let it be known that I can't afford to support a family of six, it is not my job, and that I don't expect anyone to support me or mine. I handle mine, you handle yours. Ill pitch in a bit every month to help with overages, so long as little brother DOES THE SAME THING.
As soon as my back was turned, the assholes bled me dry. I was gone 5 fucking days, only to come home to half my grocery money gone, and half of my bank account wiped out. Of course, then I get the guilt bullshit.."Oh you need to help your faaaamily" The fuck I do!! It would have been one thing if I was gone for a while, I already expected my shit to be used up. Its another when they knew I was only gone for a week and did the shit behind my back, because my mother knew it wouldn't happen while I was here. I don't appreciate being played for a goddamn dummy, especially not by my own fucking flesh and blood. As far as Im concerned, my rent is paid, and nobody better ask me for a damn dime until August.
On another, quicker note, got some news about the asshole ex that I should have seen coming-long story short, I hope he gets hit by a fucking speeding bus. That is all.
woooo hoooooo!!!! Let it out girl! You totally deserve it.
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