::Let Me Clear My Throat::

Five months in my rollercoaster of a lovelife feels like a Lightyear. Let's catch up, shall we? Siiigh...RK. Y'all already know.  RK & I are no longer, thanks in part to being swept up, chewed up, & spit out by an actual tornado. Back in April, his compound was hit & the lights, water, & communication system were wiped out. In the melee of the blackout, there was a fight, & he was moved to a higher security facility. Everything fell apart one piece at a time from there. I found out not only was I one of many, not only was he using me, not only did he not love me, but that he was actively dragging me behind my back to his friends, family & everyone he was housed with. I was head over heels for a guy didn't even LIKE me. One of the other women he was messing with was the whistleblower, sending me receipts of everything he was doing and saying about me. The guy wasn't satisfied just breaking my heart, he had to make sure to mop up every drop of my s

 Long distance love is not for the weak. This is something I'm learning the hard way.  RK and I spend a few days a month together. That first hug and kiss when we greet each other makes me feel like I can jump to the moon, but when we have to leave each other...yeah, there's no way to articulate the fucking agony that comes with it. The time we spend together is amazing, but horrible because it's always over too fast. I have to remind myself that this will all be worth it in the end. All the time apart and short visits will have been worth the amazing future we're building together. When I miss him so bad it makes me cry, when we're on the phone at 5am, delirious and half asleep but laughing, even though we're secretly dying for each other, when we're hyping each other up from 250 miles away, when I'm angry and hating all of this and questioning wtf I'm doing with someone I can't have full time... I remind myself that he's my 'Why'. I