Got My Mojo Workin'

I think I have finally released the Kracken.  (I like that word...Kracken. Anyway..)

By 'Kracken' I mean the Evil Ex.  I think I have finally shaken the last bits of his dust off of me, and am finally breathing clearly.  Take a deep, cleansing breath with me, would you? Innnnnnnnn....and ooouuuuutttt...Ah.

  This is how it is tho:  My feelings haven't changed for him; I still love him immensely, but it has shifted into a different place inside of me, and now there's room again for other things...and other people. Kind of like when you move things into the attic or the basement-you still enjoy digging around in them from time to time, but you just don't have room for it in your everyday life anymore.  That's how it feels for me.  And I'm OK with it, no lingering burning feelings whatsoever.  No holes in my chest, no empty feeling, no longing. A member of his family called me earlier today to invite me to an event, and I declined, just because I honestly didn't want to go.  The first thing I was asked (predictably): "You guys fighting again?" I answered honestly, "Nope. No issues whatsoever."  He dug around a bit more, obviously surprised at my lack of interest in seeing the Ex. Me  having so little interest is damn near unheard of when it comes to him, and everyone who knew us, as a couple and otherwise, knows this first hand.  He then said to me, "Oh he's right here then, do you want to talk to him?"  My answer was such a nonchalant "NO" that I couldn't believe it actually came out of my mouth.  I didn't even realize until after I said it that I really did mean it.  I had no interest in speaking to him at all.  THAT is a first. I never thought I would actually see this day but FUCK I'm glad it's finally here!  The elephant is finally off my chest and out of the damn room, HOORAY!  I realized that I was holding myself back from this by holding on to the hurt.  It was poisoning me, so I finally let go. Forgiveness really is divine :)

  So, like I said, my mojo is back and a-percolatin'.  I'm putting myself back together again the way I was before, all my bitchiness and swagger back in their rightful places, and I'm coming together quite nicely.  I'm happier now than I've been in a long time.  School is about to start, and I'm getting job nibbles, so educationally and professionally I'm truckin'.  I also have a few things brewing in the ol' love life-Nothing too major to report so far; I'm still enjoying some time with the old friend I mentioned before and curious to see how that pans out. There are one or two other persons of interest on the burner, but so far it's pretty strictly platonic, and I'm good with that.  I also had a door opened to me by someone I never expected, and once I shake off the shock, I may just look further into it...I'll keep you posted. :)