::Let Me Clear My Throat::

How is it possible for someone to slay you with just a look? Mr Jones and I have been keeping a low profile the last few weeks, and have not revisited our dirty dealings since the first time.  At first this pissed me off a little; there was zero acknowledgement of what happened the first week or so after we did things.  I'm a grown up and don't need validation, but he and I crossed a line that we can't come back from; I was hoping for a conspiratorial look or two, at the very least. Something that said, ' Hey we've seen each other naked, thanks for swallowing my load'. Alas, I got bupkis, and it became business as usual, but with with an emphasis on purposely ignoring what happened.  Guilt with a capital "GUH". I started to resign myself to the idea that what happened was a one shot deal, and he has now fucked me out of his system.  It kinda hurt, I can't lie, but that's my fault for being in my feelings for someone that can't return t

...we got a thing going on. It's every shade of wrong, breaks every code, and could put me in karma jail for eternity.  But I can't stop it.  I don't want to stop it.  Having a dirty secret is a funny thing.  It's paramount that it stays between me and Jones, but all I want to do is talk about it.  All these feels are churning inside me, needing an outlet before I burst- UGH. Maybe I should start from the top. Mr Jones and I have known each other for some time. There was an instant mutual attraction from the second we met, but he was off limits and I respected that.  Still, we had undeniable, off the charts chemistry. We have very similar personalities, so we clicked immediately, beginning a sort of unorthodox friendship and skipping past the awkwardness of just getting to know someone. The attraction was always there, not really a secret, but just not something we addressed- I think we both realized early on that it was a dangerous thing. We were very right