::Let Me Clear My Throat::

Being single allows you lots of time to reflect.  For instance, I reflect on my past relationships.  What did I learn from them?  What could I have done differently?  How did they change me as a person? That sort of stuff.  This sort of reflection allows you to face truths about your relationships that maybe you didn't see before. My truth hauled off and smacked me in the face, only because I didn't want to face it before, even though I always knew it was there.  You ready for it? It's a doozy: A man has never been in love with me. Ever. After a good handful of serious relationships throughout my teenage/adult life, this revelation seems random and hard to believe, I know, but after really looking into it, I'm sad to announce that it's true.  Perhaps we should explore this, complete with bullet points for clarity... My first very serious relationship was with Baby Daddy #1 , God rest his soul. I was seventeen, and we lasted just shy of 3 years. ...

Sometimes I wonder if there is a magnet around my neck that only attracts men looking to step out on their significant others. They flock to me, tails wagging, like their waiting for a treat. I feel like fucking catnip. I honestly don't know why they look at me and automatically deduce that I must play the side dish to their main course. I don't generally partake in such activities, because we all know my stance on karma, but I have to admit, it's kinda fun to go along with the charade sometimes. It's as if I'm simply taking a whiff of forbidden fruit, but instead of actually giving in and taking a bite, I allow the fruit to dangle untouched... perhaps even until it turns blue. (hehehee...) Nobody ever said that being a tease was a crime, and that's what you get for having designs on someone else when you have a perfectly happy, albeit oblivious, partner at home. This tends to happen to me often, especially when I run into guys from my past who are now off the...

As I sit here and thoroughly enjoy a healthy slice of chocolately chocolate cake from a famous Chicago hot dog restaurant, a few random musings have sprung to mind.  The first being that I am 4-day-coke-bender exhausted, this cake is delicious and my diet can suck it for the night.  (That's what I call a 'compound musing') My next wisdom gem: Boys are stupid.  And overrated. And lame.  And usually smell funny. Some deserve to be pelted with rocks, but the little ones because they sting and leave welts when they hit you and that's AWESOME. SP called me yesterday and jibber jabbered like everything was normal and cool, like a week hadn't passed since we last spoke, and like I didn't do anything crazy like, I don't know, profess my love to him or something. I attempted to address the elephant in the room, and true to form, he wanted to sweep it under the rug like it never happened...but then have the nerve to say that me telling him didn't make anything ...