::Let Me Clear My Throat::

Well, well, well..Look who's back like the prodigal?   It's been 4 months since my last post.  Four months of deep breathing, soul searching, and scrubbing off the scum of 2013..and if I'm being real, the last 34 years of my life.  I decided it was finally time to start fresh, shake off the funk, and start piecing myself pack together a little bit at a time, and my journey begins right here.     My time away gave me the opportunity to reevaluate some of my priorities.  I'm still very much single, and I'm mostly okay with that. As a matter of fact, none of my old flames have been around at all; all part of my Clean Sweep Program.  I've eschewed all of my former FWBs, choosing to go hermit instead of hussy, and they all pretty much disappeared soon enough.  There are one or two that are still persistent, but I'm good at ignoring text messages and pretending to be dead.  My head just isn't into it, and neither are my genitals. I'm waiting ...

I've been trying hard not to rock the boat lately.  There have been some crazy changes, and the sun has started to peek out from that cloud that always seems to follow me.  You know me tho, and you know my fear of losing that little glimmer, so I've been trying to play it safe, not take unnecessary risks, and just trying to coast on this for as long as I can.   Remember Flaco?  I've always kept him somewhat at arms length.  I wanted it that way.  I didn't want to take the risk of getting attached, because I never believed that things with him would ever blossom. I kept it simple..We'd spend time together, it would be lovely, then we would go our own way in the morning and cool off for a while.  That's how it was, I didn't question it, I didn't wish for more. I've widened the space between us even more lately.  As much as I would want to see him, I made up excuses, i.e., telling him I was busy or too tired when he asked to come by. I didn't wan...

.... "I'm taking the time for a number of things              That weren't important yesterday"..                       Thanks, Sir Paul.  How did he know I would need this one day? So things are looking up.  Most of the things on my little checklist a few posts ago are starting to blossom, and my little life tree is starting to look kinda nice.  I kicked my own ass right through the school doors and walked out a bonafide student, and have been keeping my distance from the Ex, and feeling pretty damn ok about it.  I don't have the usual 'my lungs are caving in' feeling I usually would in this case--(wow, it's nice to breathe.) I'm doing okay in keeping up with some sort of activity to rid myself of some of this ME, and have been really, really trying not to cheat, and when I do I beg the diet gods to give me a do over and I pretend they actually do. Hey, it works for ...