Bah Humbug
I've decided that I'm over Christmas. This year, it's done nothing but show me all the ways I fucked up as a parent and as an adult.
Right now, I have approximately $115 in my bank account, have 2 kids to shop for, but still need to be able to provide gas in my car and food on the table, and I don't get paid again until December 28. Needless to say, it's gonna look pretty empty under my tree this year. My last resort was to apply for a shirt term loan, and even that ended up being a dead end.
I was always that one who, if times were tough, made sure my kids were the last ones to feel it. Now there is no cushion to protect them, and they get stuck feeling the same blows as me because of my mistakes. Its not fair to them and makes me feel like a total fucking asshole. I literally don't have a pot to piss in right now, and my kids have to bear the brunt of that. I don't know what the hell Im gonna say to them Christmas morning when they see an empty tree. I realize they're older and should understand, but that still doesn't make me feel any better. In fact, everything around me is just making me feel worse and worse. How the hell did I get here?
I am literally, completely on my own here. I have no help, and I sure the fuck have no resources to tap into to squeak out a little extra cash. No well off relatives, nothing. I'm completely stuck.
There is no way out of or around my situation. There aren't words to describe how fucked up this makes me feel, and apologizing to my kids just doesn't seem like enough.
Right now, I have approximately $115 in my bank account, have 2 kids to shop for, but still need to be able to provide gas in my car and food on the table, and I don't get paid again until December 28. Needless to say, it's gonna look pretty empty under my tree this year. My last resort was to apply for a shirt term loan, and even that ended up being a dead end.
I was always that one who, if times were tough, made sure my kids were the last ones to feel it. Now there is no cushion to protect them, and they get stuck feeling the same blows as me because of my mistakes. Its not fair to them and makes me feel like a total fucking asshole. I literally don't have a pot to piss in right now, and my kids have to bear the brunt of that. I don't know what the hell Im gonna say to them Christmas morning when they see an empty tree. I realize they're older and should understand, but that still doesn't make me feel any better. In fact, everything around me is just making me feel worse and worse. How the hell did I get here?
I am literally, completely on my own here. I have no help, and I sure the fuck have no resources to tap into to squeak out a little extra cash. No well off relatives, nothing. I'm completely stuck.
There is no way out of or around my situation. There aren't words to describe how fucked up this makes me feel, and apologizing to my kids just doesn't seem like enough.
The most important part that they see while you battle this life lesson is NOT about presents under the tree it's that you are not giving up or giving in. That you are battling to make your life better FOR THEM. Don't give in to debt for gifts that they might or might not use in a year from now. Sit down and talk with them, make sure they know what you're fighting for. I bet you that they will understand. You just need to be a little bit more creative in your gifts. Why does it have to be an Ipod? Why can't you ask me to make them hats or something? I have yarn! We can figure something out. I can make "C" mitties! They're all the rage. Also, what the hell are you doing paying retail? Go online and start shopping around, it's amazing what you can get for 85% discounted!!!!!
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