Peaceful, Easy Feeling

: contented sigh :
I'm seeing a pattern.
Last night was another lovely night with Flaco. We lounged in my bed, all comfy cozy like, watching The Notebook (HIS request~ whaaa?!) and talking about life, love, and parenthood. My yummy smelling rose candle flickered softly on the dresser, and my iPod shuffled thru the most perfect tunes, somehow finding the ones that fit the mood just right. Our conversation flowed seamlessly and naturally, as did his fingers as he absentmindedly stroked my hair. With all this in mind, it sounds very anti climactic to refer to it as "nice", but that's exactly what it was. Nice...easy....peaceful. And I felt more content than I have in a very long time.
I'm noticing how comfortable I'm becoming, spending time with Flaco. Being with him doesn't stir up any romance novel-style feelings in me; I don't find myself doodling his name on my folders or picturing some amazing future with him, but I am enjoying our time together more than I ever thought I would....and I'm also noticing that he seems to feel the same way. I've noticed how his face lights up when I meet him in my driveway, his dimpled grin making the corners of his eyes crinkle, and how endearing that is to me. I've noticed that as soon as he's close enough, he takes my face in his hands and gives me a sweet smooch hello, and it makes me have Jello knees. I also notice that when he asks how I am, he looks me in the eyes and actually waits for me to answer, and it makes me blush and him smile again, and the cycle repeats.
I don't have any grandiose visions of a relationship, and I'm glad. I'm staying in the here and now with this, and letting the chips fall where they may, and I actually like it this way. I like how natural and effortless it feels when we're together, and if anything more is to happen, I want it to happen the same way...organically. Not to mention, I still have traces of that old doubt left over--the 'there's no way he is into me' kind of feeling, so the last thing I want to do is set myself up for another round of disappointment. I'm enjoying this, just the way it is, no expectations, no pretenses, no leading up to anything; Just him and me, some Bon Iver, crinkly grins, and rose scented candles.

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