Tick..Tick..BOOM!

I'm starting to believe that someone surgically implanted a live grenade inside my body while I was asleep.

Over the course of the last couple of weeks, I have found myself angry...sometimes irrationally so.  To clear a few things up, life has been pretty uneventful, so I can't say one thing in particular is bugging me, and no, I don't feel depressed.  It's like I can see underneath the anger, and nothing is there except harmless space, kinda like some low hanging clouds.
I'm not in a constant state of pissed, but it takes nearly nothing to get me to the point of wanting to rip someone's face off.  Driving?  I get ornery. Driving in traffic?  Hide the guns.  These are just examples.
Just now I yelled at my poor old doggy because he headbutted his way through my closed bedroom door, but he only did it because he likes to be with me. Like I said, irrational.
  I wish I could put my finger on what has me in this funk, but I keep coming up with theories, and I'm stressing myself out trying to snap out of it.  I'm not overly stressed, but yes, school is taking a lot out of me and so is the constant running around I've been doing outside of it.  I don't get much time to myself, and haven't been out without one of my offspring in weeks.  I'm ALWAYS tired-like, 'fall asleep drooling on the lab table' tired, and constantly seem to be running on fumes no matter how much sleep I get.  My guess is that these things are what is shortening my fuse.  My own space never seems to be "mine"-I can't even take a shower without returning to my room to find someone already occupying it, and I have to kick them out just so I can get dressed.  That, all by itself, pisses me off more than anything else.  Is it so wrong to want a little personal space?  Sometimes I feel like I can't even breathe without someone wanting to share my air.
  I know part of this is due to some new meds I'm taking for an unrelated reason, and I was warned this could happen, but I didn't think it would be like this.  I'm hoping that as my body gets used to the medication, these Crazy Bitch side effects will fade away.  I don't like being like this.  If I'm getting pissed like this over little stuff, imagine what the hell I would do if something really fucked up happened?  I'd have to chain myself to the wall like a gotdamn werewolf to keep from doing something I may regret later.
Actually, that may not be such a bad idea...

Comments

  1. Merry Ms. BerryOctober 13, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    I would switch of the BC, there are kinds that won't make you want to bite the face off your puppydog.

    ReplyDelete

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