Truckin'...
I'm determined to start turning this mutha out and start having a more positive outlook on how things are gonna be for me from now on. Sure, the beginning of this year...and most of the months before it were rough, to say the least, but it has to get better sometime...right?
I'm shedding a few things, and I don't mean just pounds (although alot of those have to find a new place to live too). I'm shaking myself out of the Ram-Skin, and it really does feel like it's getting easier. I realize how much harder he actually makes my life, and how much more he gives me to stress about. It's a process, and it's not just gonna flip overnight for me, but I'm working on it. I still get angry and bitter with him, especially when he lies to me (why the fuck he STILL continues to lie to me is beyond me). I know this: he is a selfish, self centered, poor excuse for a human being who has been a drain on my existence and who still continues to try to be that. I can't help but wonder if he takes pleasure in my misery, and if he does, WHY? Unfortunately for me tho, I know these questions will remain unanswered.
As for me personally, I'm doing ok. I'm having some better days, and I've noticed a big change in my mood. I'm trying to surround myself with more positive people, and attempting to regain my life one step at a time. Slowly, I'm remembering who I actually am and the old me is starting to creep back into it's proper place, but this time with a stronger resolve. Weakness is my enemy, and it's not gonna get me to where I need to be. I'm rebuilding, a little at a time. I can take a breath now without feeling stressed, and it feels pretty good. :)
I'm shedding a few things, and I don't mean just pounds (although alot of those have to find a new place to live too). I'm shaking myself out of the Ram-Skin, and it really does feel like it's getting easier. I realize how much harder he actually makes my life, and how much more he gives me to stress about. It's a process, and it's not just gonna flip overnight for me, but I'm working on it. I still get angry and bitter with him, especially when he lies to me (why the fuck he STILL continues to lie to me is beyond me). I know this: he is a selfish, self centered, poor excuse for a human being who has been a drain on my existence and who still continues to try to be that. I can't help but wonder if he takes pleasure in my misery, and if he does, WHY? Unfortunately for me tho, I know these questions will remain unanswered.
As for me personally, I'm doing ok. I'm having some better days, and I've noticed a big change in my mood. I'm trying to surround myself with more positive people, and attempting to regain my life one step at a time. Slowly, I'm remembering who I actually am and the old me is starting to creep back into it's proper place, but this time with a stronger resolve. Weakness is my enemy, and it's not gonna get me to where I need to be. I'm rebuilding, a little at a time. I can take a breath now without feeling stressed, and it feels pretty good. :)
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