Cha-CHING

What's the word I'm looking for...melancholy?  No, that's not it. Itchy and unsatisfied?  Eh, getting warmer. Oh wait, I got it!
SOLD!
  Ok, you're probably scratching your head wondering if I'm mixing my meds again today (I wish I was) with a big WTF dancing a jig over your head. Well this little light o' mine, I'm gonna let it shine, so sit back and take notes.
  A year ago I thought had it all figured out.  I rose from the dirt, dusted my ass off, and hauled it into school, knowing I would walk out 9 months later with a well respected career.  It wasn't my first choice; hell, it wasn't even my third or fourth.  Truth be told, I wasn't really remotely interested in getting into healthcare at all-It just never twirled my beanie-yeah, people have to be healthy, but I was more interested in making them pretty. Unfortunately beauty school doesn't hand over many job guarantees, so I did the responsible thing.
Three months in, and I feel like the Devil is now the proud owner of my soul.
I don't wake up in the morning loving my job or excited to go to work.  I spend most of the day telling myself I made the wrong choice.."This is not where I'm supposed to be" flashes in my head like the marquee at Carnegie Hall.  I look at ads with amazing makeup and I'm filled with this crazy longing while I try to analyze the technique and commit it to memory. I walk into salons and feel like I'm home.  I have 5 huge coffee table books written by uber-famous makeup gurus and legends, but not one committed to pain management therapy.  I have to face facts: My heart belongs to eye shadow. And medicine is an ugly, frumpy business.
I feel...trapped.  I spent so much time on this, and don't want to see it go to waste, but I know my heart isn't in it, and I'll never be truly satisfied with what I've chosen to do.  I don't want to spend the rest of my life having regret, wondering what I can do to that grass on the other side.

Comments

  1. Merry Ms. BerryAugust 22, 2012 at 9:59 AM

    Why not look for a job in a plastic surgeon's office? Or an office that does permanent tattoo makeup (medical grade)? yes, they are out there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. WomanOnFireAugust 23, 2012 at 8:34 PM

    I thought about the surgeon, but plastic surgeons are notoriously hard to work for. "Anal prick" is only halfway descriptive. I might look into the tattoo makeup, and still thinking about dermatology as well.

    ReplyDelete

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