Rocks Need Rocks Too

I am crumbling to bits as I type.
I'm beyond exhausted, stretched to every limit imaginable, and completely physically, mentally and emotionally wrung out. I have a big steaming pile of stress on my plate staring me in the face, and I just can't take the pressure anymore. I'm facing things that I don't even care to blog about because it just makes them more real, and I've had it up to here with real life. I've been too busy trying to play Positive Patty, doing everything I can to stay upbeat and keep on truckin', as they say, not wanting to look weak or put any of my issues on anyone else. I've done this for so long that I'm wiped out. I can't always be the strong one, the rock. Sometimes I need someone to be that for me.. When life starts to spin out of control someone to step in and hit the stop button so I can get my bearings and take a breath and stop feeling like I'm always drowning. But I don't have that so I have no choice but to suck it up and keep going. It fuckng sucks. People don't always realize how much a hug and an encouraging word can actually do for someone, especially someone in my spot. I'm always the pillar of strength for everyone, but nobody stops to realize that even pillars need some looking after if you want them to maintain their strength. I feel like fucking Atlas with the world on my shoulders-you never saw anyone running in to give him a hand or even ask if he was ok, they just assumed he was all good, cuz carrying planets was what he did. Meanwhile he was probably pleading for help. I'm trying to shoulder everything for everybody, including my own issues, and there just isn't anymore room. I'm screaming inside for someone to stop this ride and maybe throw in some comfort while they're at it, cuz hugging myself isn't doing the job anymore.

Comments

  1. Merry Ms. BerryJuly 25, 2012 at 8:50 AM

    why don't you ask any one of us to come over and hug you? I went to Streamwood and hugged Kelli. Don't you think I would find the time to spend with you?

    You need to get out of your head and ask those around you for help, a shoulder, an ear, a phone call or a clean tissue.

    Blogging is great but it won't hug you. I can't hug you through the glowing box. Jenny isn't far, neither is Joy. Pick up the phone and get your hug!

    ReplyDelete

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