Look Harder.
I've never made secret the fact that I am a rubenesque woman. Tho I'm not exactly proud of all this extra phatness, I'm generally comfortable in my own skin, and seem to do okay with the opposite (and sometimes same) sex. Or so I thought.
You may remember, oh, about a dozen posts or so I talked about men and how they relate to me as a bigger woman. I mentioned that men tend to think just because you're big, automatically that makes you desperate, and in turn, easy. Yes, some men need to be educated...and maybe hit with a blunt object, but that's niether here nor there. Anyway, so I've noticed that I've run into a problem.
I have no problems attracting men. They flock to me, in fact. The problem lies in the fact that I seem to be good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to actually date. That, in itself, is kind of a mindfuck if you think about it-'Ok, so you find me attractive, you think I'm awesome as a person, you text me 100 times a day and we actually talk and not just "sext", you've known me for years, and I'm respectable enough to take in public...but you don't know that you'd "date" me because you've never been with a girl of my stature.' The logic of this escapes me.
I speak to an acquaintance of mine on a pretty regular basis..nearly every day-(for anonymity's sake, we'll call him Rico). Rico and I have known each other for years-he was acquainted with The Ex. He and I have always had a friendly (flirty/platonic) relationship; As a person, I liked him immediately when The Ex introduced us, and secretly drooled over him because he was cute to boot. Those two fell out of touch, but Rico and I continued to talk after the big split, and inevitably developed a closer relationship. To make a long story short, though we haven't actually seen each other since the three of us hung out last, our conversations have gotten pretty serious...and steamy. Like boiling lava steamy. The fact that we haven't acted on anything yet is only due to our schedules, and even that thread is wearing thin. It's only a matter of time now. BUT. There's some flags on the field right now that have to be addressed.
Rico is someone I genuinely like, and I've told him this. He's the really hot guy that has no idea how hot he is. He's funny, witty, sweet, shy, humble, hard working, and is a good dad to a daughter that's not biologically his. He's the package.
We have a great connection on the phone; we laugh, we flirt, we send dumb pictures back and forth. He tells me about his day to day life, and has checked in on me every day that I've been sick just to see how I'm feeling, or just to say good morning. We've talked about going on an actual date to see if the chemistry is there when we're face to face...and that's where things get complicated. He tells me all the time how attracted he is to me, and how talking to me throughout the day just puts him in a good mood. He also makes no bones about the fact that he is way more than curious to see what I'm like in bed, which is ok, because I've been in lust with him since the first day I met him. He's also never been with a girl with my "physique", and sometimes I feel like he views me more as a novelty than a real girl with real feelings. I don't think he does it purposely, but it's still pretty irritating. This, of course, brings me back to my original point: Why do I have to be a "novelty" just because I'm fat? You seem to dig me as a person, but see me as more of something you have to "experience" just to say you did? I don't understand. Being a big girl doesn't make me any less human, and I'm not some carnival ride. Unfortunately based on a few of our conversations, this is the impression that I get from him. He is a guy I would absolutely date for the reasons I mentioned before, but only if he sees ME and not my size. There's more to me than just vagina and huge boobs. I'll never understand why it's so hard to scratch the surface a little just to find that out for themselves.
You may remember, oh, about a dozen posts or so I talked about men and how they relate to me as a bigger woman. I mentioned that men tend to think just because you're big, automatically that makes you desperate, and in turn, easy. Yes, some men need to be educated...and maybe hit with a blunt object, but that's niether here nor there. Anyway, so I've noticed that I've run into a problem.
I have no problems attracting men. They flock to me, in fact. The problem lies in the fact that I seem to be good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to actually date. That, in itself, is kind of a mindfuck if you think about it-'Ok, so you find me attractive, you think I'm awesome as a person, you text me 100 times a day and we actually talk and not just "sext", you've known me for years, and I'm respectable enough to take in public...but you don't know that you'd "date" me because you've never been with a girl of my stature.' The logic of this escapes me.
I speak to an acquaintance of mine on a pretty regular basis..nearly every day-(for anonymity's sake, we'll call him Rico). Rico and I have known each other for years-he was acquainted with The Ex. He and I have always had a friendly (flirty/platonic) relationship; As a person, I liked him immediately when The Ex introduced us, and secretly drooled over him because he was cute to boot. Those two fell out of touch, but Rico and I continued to talk after the big split, and inevitably developed a closer relationship. To make a long story short, though we haven't actually seen each other since the three of us hung out last, our conversations have gotten pretty serious...and steamy. Like boiling lava steamy. The fact that we haven't acted on anything yet is only due to our schedules, and even that thread is wearing thin. It's only a matter of time now. BUT. There's some flags on the field right now that have to be addressed.
Rico is someone I genuinely like, and I've told him this. He's the really hot guy that has no idea how hot he is. He's funny, witty, sweet, shy, humble, hard working, and is a good dad to a daughter that's not biologically his. He's the package.
We have a great connection on the phone; we laugh, we flirt, we send dumb pictures back and forth. He tells me about his day to day life, and has checked in on me every day that I've been sick just to see how I'm feeling, or just to say good morning. We've talked about going on an actual date to see if the chemistry is there when we're face to face...and that's where things get complicated. He tells me all the time how attracted he is to me, and how talking to me throughout the day just puts him in a good mood. He also makes no bones about the fact that he is way more than curious to see what I'm like in bed, which is ok, because I've been in lust with him since the first day I met him. He's also never been with a girl with my "physique", and sometimes I feel like he views me more as a novelty than a real girl with real feelings. I don't think he does it purposely, but it's still pretty irritating. This, of course, brings me back to my original point: Why do I have to be a "novelty" just because I'm fat? You seem to dig me as a person, but see me as more of something you have to "experience" just to say you did? I don't understand. Being a big girl doesn't make me any less human, and I'm not some carnival ride. Unfortunately based on a few of our conversations, this is the impression that I get from him. He is a guy I would absolutely date for the reasons I mentioned before, but only if he sees ME and not my size. There's more to me than just vagina and huge boobs. I'll never understand why it's so hard to scratch the surface a little just to find that out for themselves.
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