Shit.

...and suddenly, your heart is stuck in your throat, and your knees shake, and you can't catch your breath or blink the tears away. This is the moment you break your own heart, and you can only stand with your forehead pressed against the closed door and your fists clenched, hoping to will it all away. 

Realizing you're in love with someone you can't have is torture all on its own.

Knowing there isn't shit you can do about it but let it consume you is like being burned alive. Walking away isn't an option. I don't know that I could even if it was. 

We don't speak about feelings. They're the taboo elephant in the room, and the room is sealed up like a casket.  Talking about this stuff makes it too real, and this was only supposed to be 'fun'...I never expected it to go this far, or to be so much more. 

That connection has been there from Day 1, and has grown and twisted like ivy on a trellis over time. Even in the beginning, it was more than physical....I didn't have a chance in hell.

This is my load to carry.  I don't have the right to demand anything, and I honestly don't want to know if my feelings are reciprocal...ignorance is bliss, and knowing just makes this harder. I said in the beginning I had no desire to break up a marriage, even an empty one, and I stand by that.  I may be morally skewed, but at least I can be noble in that regard. 

I'd weld a ring on that ass in a heartbeat if the situation were different.