RIOT!

People around me are gonna start needing protective gear, cuz my bomb clock is tick tick ticking.

As hard as I'm trying to stay cool and collected, my golden, bucolic self seems to be in a constant state of rumble.  To ask why would only bring a barrage of frenzied answers, so I'm gonna try to break it all down and maybe then it will make sense to everyone, including myself.
  I don't seem to be able to escape being everyone's go-to girl when they want something.  Whether it's money, sex, attention, time, rides, advice, this or that task, favors...someone always seems to have a hand stretched out, palm up, with a horrible case of the "gimmies".  I am feeling cornered and suffocated with something or someone constantly on top of me. Not only am I being suffocated, but then at the end of the day after I've been raided, there's nothing left for me but an empty fucking bag.  I know life's unfair but damn, I should be getting at least a little slice just for me.
On top of all this, sitting proudly atop the rest of the vultures, are my never ending legal woes.  Just when I think I have them licked, there they are again, breathing down my neck.  I get to go for round two tomorrow,  not having any guarantees that I will walk back out.  I honestly feel like I'm wearing a lead blanket; all this bullshit is making me claustrophobic and I want to lash out at everyone and everything that gets in my way.  I feel like the fucking Incredible Hulk, only instead of being a cool shade of Radiation Green, I'm stuck being all flushed and splotchy red.  Mutants get all the luck.
  I feel like I'm right back at square one:  My life isn't where I want it to be, and things are slowly starting to trickle down the drain.  My job is sucking the life out of me a little more every day, I'm hemorrhaging money on bills and repairs and MY DAUGHTER, and as much as I beg, the Cook County judicial system won't just fuck off already.  I don't want to be where I was last year, and I'm working my ass off to make sure I move forward, but my grip on control is slipping.
  

Comments

  1. Merry Ms. BerrySeptember 6, 2012 at 8:47 AM

    Repeat after my "I'm sorry but I just can't help you right now. I need to focus on me. Maybe next time, but most likely not." (insert Miss America smile here).

    As for Cook County....one day at a time. Put everything in a folder and keep going. Pretend its a huge check list. Every meeting, bill, or date you're just checking things off.

    When in doubt, go for a walk around the building. Fresh air will do you good and get you away from the crazies.

    If all else fails....shank the hell out of someone. JK!.....or am I?

    <3

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