::Let Me Clear My Throat::

I make it a point-everyday-to count my blessings. I am thankful that my kids are happy and healthy and that we have a close relationship. I'm thankful for the fact that I am in a better position now than I was at this time last year, and that I have made huge strides in improving my life, and did it on my own. A day does not go by that these things don't cross my mind, especially when I feel the urge to complain. That being said, I've made a huge effort to not post any negative, whiny entries complaining about my sucky life, like I've been known to do in the past. I've been pretty successful in that, but it's hard to live all shiny happy rainbow sunshine when you still have lingering clouds. :Quick translation: Despite the "good things", I still feel uncomfortable, discontent, unfufilled, and frankly, mildly unhappy. And despite all the strides I'm making for the greater good, it feels like these clouds just seem to get larger every day. I've...

I need a recharge. To say that I have been 'unlucky in love' is like calling a plane crash 'unfortunate'.  I should be declared a disaster area, complete with the yellow tape and American Red Cross standing by.   Two weeks ago, I was an overjoyed, ecstatic ball of happy, so much so that I was shooting rainbows and sunshine out of my eyeballs.  Out of  nowhere, an old acquaintance came barging into my life and swept me off my feet like he was Cary Fucking Grant.  My whole world flipped and tumbled upside down in the most delicious way possible.  It was the last piece of my long disassembled puzzle, finally falling into place, and I fell right into the hype, not even thinking, just enjoying the fireworks.   But alas, we're talking about ME here... the universe doth giveth, and Baby Mama Drama taketh away just a few days later.  No surprise here. Needless to say, having the rug pulled from under me, again, was not a pleasant feeling. ...