::Let Me Clear My Throat::

Sometimes I wonder if I'm God's practical joke. I wonder if He looks down on me and sees how I deal with the crap He throws at me everyday, and if he laughs while I suffer. I'm sure he gets a great chuckle at watching me run around all flustered and stressed out, trying to patch up one corner of my life while the others start crumbling away. He can obviously see that it's a futile effort, trying to maintain my life and sanity at once, but he knows that he "blessed" me with an unfaltering resolve to keep trying anyway. Its the worst kind of cruelty. Everybody needs entertainment tho, even God, right? Guess there's no escaping that. I noticed that whenever I'm granted a little something, I can't seem to escape a few kicks in the ass to back it up. Nothing can ever just be good all the way around. Its as if Im only allowed a little, temporary morsel of happiness and contentment, only to have it sucked away as soon as I grab for it. I would s

His promises are the downfall of our relationship. They are empty and not well thought out, and just spewed in a moment of word vomit just to move past whatever situation he would rather deal with later. See also: "Lying Through His Teeth". I won't go into detail with this one, but suffice it to say that we got into it again over a recurring issue. He left in the middle of the night, chucking more than a few nasty insults behind him on the way out the door. ( To where? Nobody knows.) In my defense, I didn't kick him out this time, but didn't encourage him to stay either. I played by the rules with everything this time, and he gave up like the lying jackass he is. I told him it would be the last contact he would ever have with me, and to make sure he knew what he was doing. He left anyway. Whether he's regretting that decision now is something only he knows, but at this point I don't care to find out. I'm sticking by what I said. I've been having