::Let Me Clear My Throat::

Being single allows you lots of time to reflect.  For instance, I reflect on my past relationships.  What did I learn from them?  What could I have done differently?  How did they change me as a person? That sort of stuff.  This sort of reflection allows you to face truths about your relationships that maybe you didn't see before. My truth hauled off and smacked me in the face, only because I didn't want to face it before, even though I always knew it was there.  You ready for it? It's a doozy: A man has never been in love with me. Ever. After a good handful of serious relationships throughout my teenage/adult life, this revelation seems random and hard to believe, I know, but after really looking into it, I'm sad to announce that it's true.  Perhaps we should explore this, complete with bullet points for clarity... My first very serious relationship was with Baby Daddy #1 , God rest his soul. I was seventeen, and we lasted just shy of 3 years. ...

I've been trying hard not to rock the boat lately.  There have been some crazy changes, and the sun has started to peek out from that cloud that always seems to follow me.  You know me tho, and you know my fear of losing that little glimmer, so I've been trying to play it safe, not take unnecessary risks, and just trying to coast on this for as long as I can.   Remember Flaco?  I've always kept him somewhat at arms length.  I wanted it that way.  I didn't want to take the risk of getting attached, because I never believed that things with him would ever blossom. I kept it simple..We'd spend time together, it would be lovely, then we would go our own way in the morning and cool off for a while.  That's how it was, I didn't question it, I didn't wish for more. I've widened the space between us even more lately.  As much as I would want to see him, I made up excuses, i.e., telling him I was busy or too tired when he asked to come by. I didn't wan...