Saturday, May 11, 2013


Sometimes I wonder if there is a magnet around my neck that only attracts men looking to step out on their significant others. They flock to me, tails wagging, like their waiting for a treat. I feel like fucking catnip. I honestly don't know why they look at me and automatically deduce that I must play the side dish to their main course. I don't generally partake in such activities, because we all know my stance on karma, but I have to admit, it's kinda fun to go along with the charade sometimes. It's as if I'm simply taking a whiff of forbidden fruit, but instead of actually giving in and taking a bite, I allow the fruit to dangle untouched... perhaps even until it turns blue. (hehehee...) Nobody ever said that being a tease was a crime, and that's what you get for having designs on someone else when you have a perfectly happy, albeit oblivious, partner at home.
This tends to happen to me often, especially when I run into guys from my past who are now off the market, as they tend to be at my age. I respect the fact that they're in a relationship and am content just catching up, but I'll admit that I'm a hopeless but harmless flirt. As soon as I let my guard down, however, the filter is off & I'm being asked in no certain terms for pictures of my tits. Something like, well, this:
Do I have a sign on me somewhere advertising free tit pictures?
I admitted that I flirt, but I definitely don't open the door for this, or anything that could and would naturally happen after this either. I've had guys actively seek me out for the sole purpose of having some side action, no preamble or fake pretenses. I am DYING to know what it is about me that makes guys think I'm the fucking go-to gal for this type of shit!  
The sad thing is, it's not just the taken guys who pull this bullshit with me.  Any reader of mine knows my trials and tribulations with dudes only looking to get into my pants, which begs the question: Why is it that I am fuckable, but not loveable?  Why do men only see me as a hunk of meat, my sole purpose being to provide some sort of sexual gratification?  I don't seek this out, in fact, I go out of my way to avoid it when I can, even completely cutting certain people out of my life with no explaination, (sorry Flaco). I'm content with letting them think I simply fell of the planet rather than confronting him or continuing to be okay with something that was never gonna move past a few late night booty calls. 
I'm over being someone's "action", whether they're single or not.  I find the taken guys especially repugnant..I've played along up to a point, but that was solely for my own twisted amusement.  I have no respect for these guys, and certainly don't want to play second fiddle to someone that has no idea what a dog they're dating. I've been on that side of the fence, watching my own Fido hump every leg he could find when he thought I wasn't looking.  It's a wretched feeling that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.  
This is usually portrayed as a pretty glamorous position-"The Other Woman", or "the Vixen", but the movies have it dead wrong.  There's nothing awesome about being a fuck toy, it's not flattering or empowering, it's shitty and just leaves a huge, gaping fucking empty feeling.  I feel like a chew toy.  This isn't what I want, and despite what I've already done, I don't know how to make it stop...or find a guy that sees me as a person and actually likes it.


  1. On a lighter note I really like the new look to your bloggy-blog-blog.

    For some reason the last 3 didn't show up on my thread. Good thing I'm a professional stalker and you are never too far from my reach.

    How can I help you babe? How can I make things better? I know you're going to say "nothing" or win the lotto and split it. 2 things you know that are not in my control. :)

    So with that being said. Is there any question I can answer? Any butt I can kick? Any face that I can lick? teehee

    I hope you find inner peace. I hope you are choosing to seek it. I hope you hold the world around you to a higher standard just as you hold yourself.

    Missing you FeeshFeesh! <3

    1. Remind me that I'm just so damn sexy that they can't help themselves LOL...
      I'm curious for your opinion-why do you think they come at me this way? I'm interested in an outsider's POV to see if maybe I give off some secret 'I wanna get naked with you' vibe.

    2. Oh and for the record, despite this rant, I'm actually feeling OK these days-Not quite 100%, but better. Out of anything a person can wish for, peace is the only thing that matters these days. I'm working on it :) Miss you boo!


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