Cursed.

This has just gotten beyond ridiculous.
 Catch a break? Me?  Not a fuckin' chance.  Better myself?  Not in this lifetime.  Meet a normal guy who is available and actually likes me?  I must be out my damn mind.
Funny how things change in just a few hours.  Let me bring you up to speed:

-My mother is a batshit crazy loop de loop psychopath who is in dire need of some sort of chemical imbalance treatment or shock therapy or her head cut off.  This person thrives on drama and misery and makes sure whoever is within a 10 ft radius enjoys the same fate.  For this reason, I need to move.  Now.
Which brings me to my next point:
-School is no longer an option.  I can't afford to not work full time if I'm going to pay for a place.  Guess it's dead end jobs for me for good.  So much for self improvement and keeping myself from ending up like her.  Evidently, it is not in the cards for me to be someone better, and God forbid she actually does something to help me better myself and show her up even more.  It's bad enough I'm already smarter than she is.  She just loooves that.  I will apparently never be more than this.  Just knowing that makes me die a little more inside.
Lastly, something unrelated, but the lovely little cherry on top: (ex boyfriend will LOVE this)
-My giddiness over a certain Army medic was short lived. The internet is an amazing tool.  You find out all kinds of interesting things on Google; what schools they went to, clubs they belonged to, and that July 3rd was his 1 YEAR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. His wife's name is Carol, her dress was beautiful but not really my style, oh, and she kind of looks like me.  Things like that.  Isn't that special?  What a blessing.

  Sooo, yeah.  Back to square one I go, and will apparently never leave. I need a drink.

Comments

  1. Merry Ms. BerryJuly 14, 2011 at 11:09 AM

    Honey, it's time to play the silver lining game.

    1) better to find out now about Army dude because anything serious happened. Yay!

    2) looking at yourself in a whole new sexy light. yes, you deserve someone hot and sexy and proof of Army dude helped. (he was put there for a reason) He brought out something in you that Rams never could.

    3) Just because you have to work full time doesn't mean you can't do school in the evenings. yes, it might take a little bit longer but it's still an option. and you'll fight for it so much more.

    4) you still have all of us and your blog, which I love to read. keep 'em coming.

    5)yes it sucks to have a mom like that, but as soon as she opens her mouth run outside and get away. there's no reason why you can't ignore her and live with your ipod in your ears & get healthy at the same time.

    6) these life lessons are there to make you stronger...KEEP GOING YOU'RE DOING GREAT!!!!

    These hiccups aren't shit that you can't handle, you got this easy-peasy! Don't think that everyone in the world hasn't had to deal with shit, especially shit like this. We are here for you ((((kick in butt))). If you are a spiritual person, just know God is ready to bless with you so much you just have to keep going through the darkness to get to the light. KEEP GOING DAMMIT!
    You are worthy!!!!!

    FYI, I'm pretty good at finding out the "whys" in life. Lend my your ear and I'll give you 2 shoulders.

    ReplyDelete

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